Let it Go

“You will find it necessary to let things go; simply for the reason they are heavy.” - C. Joybell C.

My journey to a simpler life is more than just decluttering the material things in my home, as freeing as that is. Those boxes donated to Goodwill are heavy, packed with many smaller things no longer wanted. But I also find myself examining what might be cluttering my life physically (health), emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. It isn’t always one big thing but can be a lot of seemingly little things that together feel like one cumulative burden.

As silly as it sounds, when I’m dealing with such things I sometimes find myself humming “Let it Go” from the Disney movie “Frozen”. (Ok, I often bring up the Pentatonix version and sing along but no one wants to hear that!) It lightens my mood as a reminder that it’s ok to just let go of whatever worry or angst is crowding my life. 

Of course I pray a lot too, surrendering to Jesus those people, thoughts and burdens that weigh me down in mind and spirit, knowing He wants to carry them for me (1Peter 5:7, Psalm 55:22) and help me see what I need to release.

The thing about letting heavy things go is that so many are out of my control and beyond my ability to change them so I need to quit dragging them around. They aren’t mine to carry. Things like the behavior, choices, or opinions of others. No matter how much I disagree and as long as it isn’t bringing harm to themselves or others in away that would require intervention, I need to not dwell on it or let it take up emotional space. It’s difficult to do when it involves a friend or loved one but I’m not discarding the relationship, just the angst.

I also need to let go of resisting change or holding on to seasons of life that have passed. I think of a quote by Ellen Goodman: “There's a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over - and to let go. It means leaving what's over without denying its value.” I like the last part of that…leaving what’s over without denying its value. It’s ok to put aside what’s over to make room for what’s next. 

As I let go of what is no longer wanted or has become too heavy, I focus instead on clinging to what is good (Romans 12:9) and “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)  Those are the things worth keeping.

Letters Unsent

One thing I’ve learned is just because something can be said doesn’t mean it needs to be said, especially when it’s likely that no good will come of it so silence is the better course. 

So the question is, how do I deal with the emotional overflow of words unsaid, of feelings unexpressed toward a person or situation? I have found therapeutic release in writing letters to the people I want to speak to but can’t. It helps to put into words the unedited thoughts without a filter, writing out the storm of emotions. 

When the words are negative or just me venting, I shred the paper afterwards. They were for my benefit only, letters unsent that validated my words and feelings without judgement from anyone, thereby unloading the weight of them. Nothing would be gained by sharing. 

The more difficult letters are to people who have caused hurt, letting them know I forgive them. The words are unsent because those who are responsible either refuse to acknowledge they did anything wrong or they have died, leaving no opportunity for resolution. Writing it down gives voice to the hurt and helps me forgive and move on. 

Sometimes my letters unsent are positive and kept in my journal. The most recent was to one of my best friends lost to cancer a few months ago. She knew how much I valued our friendship as we often expressed it to each other in phone conversations and sweet notes in the mail but it helped to write her a good-bye love letter saying it again even though she will never read it. I’ll see her again someday so that lessens the pain of grief a bit but the loss is still pretty raw. She was my kindred spirit and I miss her every single day.

I often write letters to myself as a path to objectivity and affirmation, confirming what I did right or seeing where I was wrong and how I can correct my course. Some are kept in my journal as a good reminder while others are relegated to the wastebasket having served their purpose. 

Prayer helps as I speak of what’s on my heart to God, but I often write them as letters because I express my thoughts better with pen to paper than speaking them. Those are also in a journal and I sometimes read them back to the Lord when the same matter of the heart arises again. 

Donald Trump has received a few as the election approaches, expressing my disappointment in the kind of man he has shown himself to be and why I won’t vote for him again. Obviously letters unsent and destined for the shredder but I felt better getting the angst out on paper knowing he and probably everyone else couldn’t care less what I think. 

Certainly there are situations where words are better spoken in person but when it isn’t, letters unsent provide a healthy way to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings.

 

Perspective, Again

In 2009 I wrote a post here titled “Perspective” about my anxiety at the time with the economy, the 2008 election, and all the bad things going on in the world - both real and perceived - and how the Lord helped me focus on Him instead of the fear. 

Who knew then how much worse it would get in the years to come? A major recession, the Covid pandemic, the wars in Ukraine and Israel. Donald Trump inciting the violent January 6 attack on the Capitol because he couldn’t accept that he lost the election.

This 2024 election weighs heavy on my heart as we face a choice between what seems to me like marxist liberalism vs. fascist conservatism and it leaves me feeling like - to use a colloquialism - we’re screwed either way. I am once again struggling with worry over politics, the economy, world affairs, and the moral decline of our country. But as I re-read that entry in 2009, I once again find my peace in God’s presence amidst the uncertainty, and find that the prayer I wrote then is just as applicable and empowering today with a few additions:

 Dear Lord, 

I bring you my shortcomings...

because Your Word says that in my weakness you are strong and I feel like such a wimp in these trying times. I have so many faults and shortcomings but when I look closer, I see they are by your design as behind each one is a strength waiting to develop as I surrender them to you.

I bring you my worship and praise...
because Your Word says you inhabit the praise of your people and when I worship You, I feel your presence. Today I praise your names Jehovah Jireh, because you are the Lord who provides, and Elohim Shomri, the Lord who protects me.

I bring you my prayer...
because Your Word says to tell you my hurts, fears, concerns, and needs so that I'm not anxious about anything. Help me take my anxious thoughts captive and leave them with You, knowing that nothing is happening that isn't passing through Your hands first. You are in control of all things including an election. Thank you for your provision and protection.

You spoke to me from Your Word…

"I have loved you with an everlasting love."
Jeremiah 31:3
"The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms."
Deuteronomy 33:27

“Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.

When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.

Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God.

He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. 

He remains faithful forever.”

Psalm 146:3-6

You whispered to me…

Don’t worry. I’ve got this.

What’s on Your Altar?

"Everybody has an altar. And every altar has a throne. So how do you know where and what you worship? It’s easy. You simply follow the trail of your time, your affection, your energy, your money, and your loyalty. At the end of that trail you’ll find a throne; and whatever, or whomever, is on that throne is what’s of highest value to you. On that throne is what you worship."   - Louie Giglio

What’s on your altar? It can be relationships, a job/career, or service to others. A hobby or travel to beautiful places can be great for mental health. Bible study, ministry, and intercessory prayer are definitely worthy of space. Even material collections that bring us joy might show up on the altar. 

But what about the throne? Any thing or person that becomes an obsession or a singular focus of our money, time, affection, loyalty, and energy threatens to take over the throne of our lives. It could be the pursuit of wealth or status above all else. Or the pursuit of youth and beauty. Maybe social media consumes our time and energy. Any number of addictions might battle for prominence. 

For some a presidential candidate sits on the throne as an object of messiah-like worship. Sadly, I have witnessed this a lot the past few years and more-so lately. 

I hope Jesus is on the throne of my altar. I think He mostly is, but it’s a battle with the many other things vying for a place as well. 

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” - Matthew 6:21