Letters Unsent

One thing I’ve learned is just because something can be said doesn’t mean it needs to be said, especially when it’s likely that no good will come of it so silence is the better course. 

So the question is, how do I deal with the emotional overflow of words unsaid, of feelings unexpressed toward a person or situation? I have found therapeutic release in writing letters to the people I want to speak to but can’t. It helps to put into words the unedited thoughts without a filter, writing out the storm of emotions. 

When the words are negative or just me venting, I shred the paper afterwards. They were for my benefit only, letters unsent that validated my words and feelings without judgement from anyone, thereby unloading the weight of them. Nothing would be gained by sharing. 

The more difficult letters are to people who have caused hurt, letting them know I forgive them. The words are unsent because those who are responsible either refuse to acknowledge they did anything wrong or they have died, leaving no opportunity for resolution. Writing it down gives voice to the hurt and helps me forgive and move on. 

Sometimes my letters unsent are positive and kept in my journal. The most recent was to one of my best friends lost to cancer a few months ago. She knew how much I valued our friendship as we often expressed it to each other in phone conversations and sweet notes in the mail but it helped to write her a good-bye love letter saying it again even though she will never read it. I’ll see her again someday so that lessens the pain of grief a bit but the loss is still pretty raw. She was my kindred spirit and I miss her every single day.

I often write letters to myself as a path to objectivity and affirmation, confirming what I did right or seeing where I was wrong and how I can correct my course. Some are kept in my journal as a good reminder while others are relegated to the wastebasket having served their purpose. 

Prayer helps as I speak of what’s on my heart to God, but I often write them as letters because I express my thoughts better with pen to paper than speaking them. Those are also in a journal and I sometimes read them back to the Lord when the same matter of the heart arises again. 

Donald Trump has received a few as the election approaches, expressing my disappointment in the kind of man he has shown himself to be and why I won’t vote for him again. Obviously letters unsent and destined for the shredder but I felt better getting the angst out on paper knowing he and probably everyone else couldn’t care less what I think. 

Certainly there are situations where words are better spoken in person but when it isn’t, letters unsent provide a healthy way to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings.